A portrait of Jonathan Levine by Dan Witz for “NY Hardcore” @WitzInPlainView @JLeVineGallery http://www.brooklynstreetart.com/theblog/2014/04/07/dan-witz-goes-hardcore-in-nyc-with-mosh-pit-collection/#.U0K-_cfVDeY (detail Photo © Jaime Rojo)
Oh, that was a close one! Dan Witz “NY Hardcore” Jonathan LeVine Gallery (Photo © Jaime Rojo)
In 1999 I made a choice, and that choice was to love someone who was incapable of truly ever loving me back. And I loved him magnificently and ferociously for 12 years. I was sole provider, nurturer, fixer, supporter. We were two people that should have never been together. But I was adamant, and threw everything I had into making a life for us together. And what resulted was a cruel, distorted unequal relationship where I was controlled, manipulated and marginalised.
Happily, when I turned 30 in 2010, something changed. Inspired by people that had magically crossed my path, I realised that life could be so much more and that it was time to learn how to love myself in that magnificent and ferocious way. I left him in the October of that year and I have never looked back. It has been a long hard road and the learnings have been immense (and hard) but I wouldn’t change a single moment. I will never stop learning.
Why am I telling you all this now? Because that choice in 1999 led to a intensely difficult financial situation for me throughout my 20’s and when I left, I took on a legacy of debt for two peoples existence which had spiralled in the recession.
Today is my freedom day. Today is the day I make my last payment. Today is the day I am truly free. Today I hold my head up high. I have taken responsibility for all of my choices, I have paid my dues and I will never be caged again, by me or anyone else.
I soar free and I fly high. I am now one of the happiest people I know. I live an amazingly full life, I have an amazing job, and every day I am truly blessed, happy and thankful to be right here in this moment, giddily loving everything around me, enriched by true friendships with people who giddily love me right back.
Sometimes the change that scares us the most is the change that can make us happiest of all. Don’t be afraid to change your situation, however big or small that change is.
Never accept anything less than the biggest most beautiful love you can find, from yourself as well as anyone else. Keep learning, keep growing, keep striving. Get free. Get happy. For life, my friends, is truly beautiful.
Peace and love